Monday, February 7, 2011


Should be a four letter word.

Seems like we all say it at some point (I know I certainly have)... I regret not starting to try sooner.

In my current (more sane and peaceful) mindframe, I can see that this is dangerous thinking. Should I have tried to get pregnant when I didn't want a kid, just in case I did someday? Should I have brought a child into the world to be parented with that lying, cheating douchebag I was living with when I was 21? Should Prof and I have jumped into marriage and parenthood while we were still in school, living in different countries?

You just can't make yourself want something you don't want. You can't force yourself to be ready for something. Sure, you can step up and deal with it if it happens unexpectedly, and you can even grow to be happy about it. But when you have to make a conscious decision to start down the path, it just seems ill advised to do "just in case" the future might not work out the way you think it will. You do the best you can in the moment and try to look at mistakes as educational opportunities.

Just like parenting, I expect.

We can't plan for everything. We can't see the future. And every past decision we have made, every path we have chosen, has contributed to who we are today. Baby-making situation aside, we have a great life.

Do I regret not starting to try sooner? Occasionally, in darker moments... of course. I'm only human after all. But on the whole, no regrets.


  1. You definitely shouldn't regret any of those things. Great post!

  2. I totally agree that the choices we have made up to now have made us who we are today and we should be proud of that.

    btw, I left you a blog award on my latest blog post . . .

  3. I completely agree. My 20/20 hindsight, who knows we will stay married and have good jobs and yada yada, wishes the old me had wanted to try sooner. But the old me didn't know any of this, and she had some living to do, and she did it. And I can't regret that.

  4. I think it's a no win situation for some. I catch myself thinking we should have started as soon as we met, I also catch myself thinking we should wait another five years still!

    So glad you are happy with the life you have created, regret is a horrible sticky thing to get into.

  5. Regret = the bane of my existence. Even though I know it's not helpful.

  6. Wonderful post. Living without regrets is an art- it's not about making the "right" choices, but by finding a way to be at peace with them. I'm trying to get there myself.