Am I the only infertile in the history of ART to walk eyes-wide-open into an out-of-pocket IVF*, fully expecting it fail? And I'm doing it anyways, because if I don't... how would I be able to live the rest of my life at peace? How would I ever be able to look my darling husband in the eyes if I didn't at least try?
*That was a lot of hyphens.
No, you're not the only one. I'm one too.
ReplyDeleteNope, totally not alone. We dropped $20,600 out of pocket for IVF knowing full well it may not work. Of course, we did the Attain Refund program so we knew we'd get 70% of our money back if it didn't work but between the cost of meds, every copay for the visit, and the 30% we wouldn't get back it was a shitload of cash. But I don't think I could've gone on not knowing if it *could* work. If IVF was the answer.
ReplyDeleteI hope IVF is your answer.
To the first part, I can't say yes.
ReplyDeleteBut I know the agony of trying again or not... waiting a few months and try again or not. And it sucks.
nope, walked right into my second one pretty convinced it wouldn't work either and it didn't.
ReplyDeleteUm, I could pretty much sign my name to this post. It's EXACTLY what I'm about to to and exactly how I feel. *hugs* May we both be proven wrong.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone at all. Although I am not an out of pocket patient, we knew we had 3 chances. That's all our insurance would cover and we walked in knowing we had less than a 35% chance of it working.
ReplyDeleteEvery IUI I've been through, with the exception of the very first one, I walked into completely expecting it to fail. With my IVF, I was completely unsure of what to think. I kind of assumed I'd have the same result.
I really hope it's the answer for you....
I hope you're proven wrong, I really do.
ReplyDeleteHugs x
I do exactly the same thing, its the "going through the motions" kind of IVF cycle and it totally sucks. I am hoping for you, hang in there...
ReplyDeleteI felt like that about our last FET.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this! $10,000 per cycle, and a 20% chance of success. I am trying to remain positive though and every time a negative thought...like "only 20%" comes into my head or conversation, I stomp on it and tell it to piss off, because it is of no use to me. I have started allowing myself to visualize my baby again, to look at some of the baby talismans I have and some of the clothes I bought more than a year ago that have been packed away in case I was jinxing myself. I have even picked up a nursery (Winnie the Pooh) cross-stitch that I have had since 1998...because it will need to be finished in a little over nine months ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope that underneath it all there is the tiniest bit of optimism still in there. I know it can feel hopeless at times but there is always a chance. And some of the shittiest cycles are the lucky ones. I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteWe are doing two cycles out of pocket and I don't for a second thing they will work, even before we've planned them. Sigh. I think part of this is to protect myself, getting hopes up leads to more pain in my experience.
ReplyDeleteIt really is worth trying though, and we can all have hope *for* you! More money can be made, but more chances for this wont come I guess. Am really wishing you all the best xx