For anyone who is still checking in... that about says it all. Things seem to be going quite well. Most of the weirder symptoms/problems have tapered off. We had a baby shower, started childbirth classes and the nursery is mostly complete. I'm trying to savor the whole experience, knowing I will never get to do this again.
I never wanted this to be a pregnancy/parenting blog, so there will not likely be frequent posts though I will let you know how this all plays out. I don't plan to disappear entirely, but neither do I plan to transition this space into anything other than what it already is. I will leave it "as is" for others to find in hopes that it can provide some comfort or reassurance that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
March/April Shout-Out
I don't really know what to say right now...
We are all still here, Inhabitant is still kicking away in the inside to my eternal relief. March basically sucked as usual (with occasional rays of sunshine). April is sucking much less, but has not exactly been blissful either. I'm back on pelvic rest due to random episodes of unexplained spotting and mild contractions. Work is completely insane and I'm exhausted.
This week was NIAW and I couldn't even tune in. I spent the week owning that fact that I'm still carrying a lot of sadness, resentment and jealousy and that is not likely to change any time soon. So I have the happy thoughts of Inhabitant and the accompanying fears on his behalf, plus the grief for years wasted and embryos that didn't make it and siblings that will never be... and I am not feeling eloquent or even articulate, much less able to rally to any battle cry for awareness. I'm just trying to get through one day at a time and that is going to have to be enough for now.
We are all still here, Inhabitant is still kicking away in the inside to my eternal relief. March basically sucked as usual (with occasional rays of sunshine). April is sucking much less, but has not exactly been blissful either. I'm back on pelvic rest due to random episodes of unexplained spotting and mild contractions. Work is completely insane and I'm exhausted.
This week was NIAW and I couldn't even tune in. I spent the week owning that fact that I'm still carrying a lot of sadness, resentment and jealousy and that is not likely to change any time soon. So I have the happy thoughts of Inhabitant and the accompanying fears on his behalf, plus the grief for years wasted and embryos that didn't make it and siblings that will never be... and I am not feeling eloquent or even articulate, much less able to rally to any battle cry for awareness. I'm just trying to get through one day at a time and that is going to have to be enough for now.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Brought to You By the Letter B
Bullets:
- BOY - Inhabitant is Team Blue! We had our follow up scan to get the rest of the measurements (all good, kiddo measuring slightly ahead as usual), cervix and placenta doing just fine and we have an official sex ID. We can now refer to the offspring as "He". And He is very active. He also feels very strongly about mealtimes. I get a flurry of kicks and punches every time I eat. This is immensely reassuring.
- Boobs - Had a bit of a scare here this week. I have developed what *may* be mastitis, but no one can confirm this. It doesn't hurt or itch, but things are pink and warm and inflamed. Midwife gave me antibiotics which made no difference, so I got an urgent appointment for a breast ultrasound. While this failed to yield a diagnosis, it did uncover two small masses in one breast, one of which needed a biopsy. It turned out to be cyst, so a HUGE relief. I am now off to a dermatologist to try again for a diagnosis as I am unwilling to just keep trying different antibiotics in the hope that one will do the trick. Sigh.
- Belly - Totally eclipsed by the boobs (in size). At my almost-20 week weigh in, I was up a total of six pounds from my pre-BFP weight. My mom gained twelve total with me, so six seems OK for the halfway point. I'm pretty sure five of those pounds are in my bra. My belly still looks more bloated than anything. I was a little concerned about this, but the scan shows the Inhabitant is growing just fine, even slightly ahead of schedule. Must just be how I'm built. I admit, I feel like it would be nice to actually look pregnant. Only one person has guessed at work so far. They asked my boss (but not me?), and haven't said anything aside from that.
- Basketcase - I finally broke down and bought the Baby Bargains book in an effort to prepare myself for the onslaught of stuff that will need to be acquired in order to support the Inhabitant once he makes it to the outside. I made it about half way through the first section (discussion of nursery furniture, specifically cribs) and freaked right the fuck out. Ended up hiding under the duvet in tears. One week later and I'm not exactly certain why I freaked out, but I just couldn't deal. I asked Twitter for some advice and after a brief chat with Prof, we decided just to check at the Ikea near his Mom's house later. Neither of us is up to thinking that far ahead just yet. Ostrichville, I tell you.
Monday, March 4, 2013
19 Weeks (and All's Well...)
Sorry for the delay in posting, but we took a short trip out of town for a family reunion and then I had a crazy week at work.
Thanks so much for all of the lovely comments and support in recent
weeks (months). For now, I'm feeling pretty good. Pretty calm.
We had our scanlast week
two weeks ago and everything looks good so far. The Inhabitant was
laying in a somewhat stubborn position, so the tech couldn't get all the
measurements she wanted. We just have to go back for another pass. Oh darn.
I did at least get confirmation that my placenta is in a good place and
my cervix is long and closed, so those worries are put to rest for the
time being.
People are starting to ask questions about our plans for various bits and pieces of the pregnancy, birth and homecoming. They always take me by surprise... and "OH RIGHT! This might just end with us bringing home an infant! OMG I can't think about that right now." So yeah. That's where I'm at. Ostrichville. I'm making any and all commitments only when absolutely necessary.
Along those lines, we received our first baby gift last week. It was very sweet, but I would have preferred for that milestone to come a little later. Oddly enough, nobody asked me my opinion. After we opened the gift, I wrapped it back up and tucked it aside. Not like there is ANYWHERE in this house for us to store baby stuff yet. My due date is late July so Prof and I have agreed to think about the nursery in May.
Ostrichville, population 2 (or three if we count the Inhabitant).
We had our scan
People are starting to ask questions about our plans for various bits and pieces of the pregnancy, birth and homecoming. They always take me by surprise... and "OH RIGHT! This might just end with us bringing home an infant! OMG I can't think about that right now." So yeah. That's where I'm at. Ostrichville. I'm making any and all commitments only when absolutely necessary.
Along those lines, we received our first baby gift last week. It was very sweet, but I would have preferred for that milestone to come a little later. Oddly enough, nobody asked me my opinion. After we opened the gift, I wrapped it back up and tucked it aside. Not like there is ANYWHERE in this house for us to store baby stuff yet. My due date is late July so Prof and I have agreed to think about the nursery in May.
Ostrichville, population 2 (or three if we count the Inhabitant).
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Limbo
It's where we're at...
It's been five weeks since our last scan, nearly two weeks since we last heard the heart beat. One more week to the next scan. I may or may not have felt movement once or twice. Can't be sure. I've been afraid to invest in a doppler, since I know I would freak the fuck out if I couldn't find the heart beat. Too much room for user error in the hands of... well, me. I haven't exactly been feeling fabulous, but there's nothing unusual going on. I've outgrown all my bras, pants and skirts, but I still don't look like I'm actually pregnant. More like I've been hitting the cookie jar too hard, or the cheese plates. So, Limbo.
PVCs: Ongoing, but the cardiologist is now confident that there is nothing to be worried about. All tests came back clean and it looks like these are just more of my usual PVCs, triggered by the pregnancy hormones. The doctor won't intervene unless things get much worse. I did get cleared for light cardio, so I'm back on my elliptical and using my hand weights in an effort to keep strong.
Constipation: Sorted via prune juice, copious Mexican food and Activia. Thank you to the twitters for all the recommendations!
Congestion/Headaches/Nausea: All normal second trimester stuff, so says the midwife. Nausea likely due to combination of postnasal drip and headaches. Sudafed and Tylenol approved and helping.
Boobs: Off the hook.
Belly: Expanding. Solidly into maternity pants/jeans, but still able to dress discreetly so that no one would notice any change. Wondering how long till the first coworker twigs to the situation. Not going to announce at work, so it is my own little game to see how long it takes for people to pick up on it.
Telling: We sent an email to friends and family and gave the parents permission to start talking about the pregnancy. The message was brief and to the point, including a reference to our egg donor but giving no details. I am surprised and relieved that not one person has asked a single question about the egg donor (particularly certain family members), but everyone has been unanimously thrilled for us. I also told my boss, purely for practical reasons. She will want to hire a temp to cover for me, and she will also be a big help navigating the institutional maternity leave process since she's done it twice now. This also gets me out of any work travel responsibilities (not strictly necessary, but I'm not complaining).
Anxiety: Through the roof. I have reached the point where I'm less worried about there being something wrong with the Inhabitant and much, much, more worried about my body simply failing at pregnancy. I have no evidence to prompt this concern, but since when do we need evidence to worry about something?
It's been five weeks since our last scan, nearly two weeks since we last heard the heart beat. One more week to the next scan. I may or may not have felt movement once or twice. Can't be sure. I've been afraid to invest in a doppler, since I know I would freak the fuck out if I couldn't find the heart beat. Too much room for user error in the hands of... well, me. I haven't exactly been feeling fabulous, but there's nothing unusual going on. I've outgrown all my bras, pants and skirts, but I still don't look like I'm actually pregnant. More like I've been hitting the cookie jar too hard, or the cheese plates. So, Limbo.
PVCs: Ongoing, but the cardiologist is now confident that there is nothing to be worried about. All tests came back clean and it looks like these are just more of my usual PVCs, triggered by the pregnancy hormones. The doctor won't intervene unless things get much worse. I did get cleared for light cardio, so I'm back on my elliptical and using my hand weights in an effort to keep strong.
Constipation: Sorted via prune juice, copious Mexican food and Activia. Thank you to the twitters for all the recommendations!
Congestion/Headaches/Nausea: All normal second trimester stuff, so says the midwife. Nausea likely due to combination of postnasal drip and headaches. Sudafed and Tylenol approved and helping.
Boobs: Off the hook.
Belly: Expanding. Solidly into maternity pants/jeans, but still able to dress discreetly so that no one would notice any change. Wondering how long till the first coworker twigs to the situation. Not going to announce at work, so it is my own little game to see how long it takes for people to pick up on it.
Telling: We sent an email to friends and family and gave the parents permission to start talking about the pregnancy. The message was brief and to the point, including a reference to our egg donor but giving no details. I am surprised and relieved that not one person has asked a single question about the egg donor (particularly certain family members), but everyone has been unanimously thrilled for us. I also told my boss, purely for practical reasons. She will want to hire a temp to cover for me, and she will also be a big help navigating the institutional maternity leave process since she's done it twice now. This also gets me out of any work travel responsibilities (not strictly necessary, but I'm not complaining).
Anxiety: Through the roof. I have reached the point where I'm less worried about there being something wrong with the Inhabitant and much, much, more worried about my body simply failing at pregnancy. I have no evidence to prompt this concern, but since when do we need evidence to worry about something?
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