34 weeks: NST after a day of no fetal movements. All fine. Two days later, we had to put one of our cats to sleep - definitely one of the most horrible moments in my life. He was my first ever furbaby and had been with us for 12 years.
36 week appointment: BP 170/110 with protein in urine. Midwife pulls me out of work and puts me on bedrest. NST shows baby is fine but I'm not great, so admitted to hospital with possible pre-eclampsia. Ultrasound shows baby is still breech and estimates weight at 8.5 pounds already. Three days in hospital to monitor, medicate and get BP under control. Last ditch ECV to turn baby not successful. C-section scheduled for 39 weeks, bedrest continues.
38 week appointment: BP still elevated, increased protein in urine. Officially diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and called in to hospital for c-section with only four hours notice. Thumper delivered healthy and perfect in every way (and at only 7.5 pounds).
Now we are four weeks out and he is hitting milestones left and right. As of today, he can hold his head up by himself for about 30 seconds at a time and is starting to make social sounds instead of just crying. Prof has taken to fatherhood like a fish to water - he was absolutely made for this and I am loving watching him don this new mantle.
I am hitting MY milestones a little more slowly... but then, a 40 year old body doesn't heal as quickly as a younger one might. My pain levels are lingering a little higher than normal. I am also struggling a bit with the baby blues, combined with emotional side effects from the blood pressure meds and the inevitable baggage of infertility trauma. As I said on Twitter,
I live in fear that the Universe is going to snatch my beautiful boy away from me, that he's too perfect for me somehow. Then I wonder if losing Cat Two was the Universe taking a "sacrifice" so I can keep my baby & if the Universe will honor that substitute.
I still have eight weeks before I go back to work, and I'm already dreading it.
Wow that's some update!!!! Congrats mama! So glad everything worked out with the birth and he is healthy and thriving. As for you-- you'll get there and the fear will subside (at least somewhat). Be gentle with yourself.
ReplyDeleteWow that's some update!!!! Congrats mama! So glad everything worked out with the birth and he is healthy and thriving. As for you-- you'll get there and the fear will subside (at least somewhat). Be gentle with yourself.
ReplyDeleteWOW what an update!! Congrats mama! So glad your boy is here and healthy! As for you-- give yourself some time, it really does heal a lot of the wounds.
ReplyDeleteHooray for the arrival of your beautiful boy! I'm glad he and you both made it here safely and healthily. Can we see a picture? Pretty please?
ReplyDeleteI know those fears. They will get easier, I promise. Think of it like one of those stupid trust falls they make people do at camp. The first time you let yourself ease into not worrying, you will feel like you are taking a huge risk. But then it gets easier each time. I also reminded myself that the alternative was living in fear throughout my child's entire life and that just wasn't an option--I wanted him to have a better mother than that.
But these early days are hard and you are sleep deprived and hormonal so cut yourself huge amounts of slack.
Congratulations!!!
ReplyDeleteTake it one day at a time. Day by day, you will be doing better and it will all get easier. Those post-pregnancy hormones can really pack a punch.
congratulations so happy for you! this is a lot of changes going on - be kind to yourself and ask for help when you need it!! congrats!!
ReplyDeleteI was hoping you'd post a bigger update here! I suck at keeping up on twitter, so it was great to catch up. Sorry things are still a bit rough. Hang in there! xoxo
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