Thursday, June 14, 2012

Mocking Me

Wow. Real life does occasionally just take right over, and that's not always a bad thing.

I suppose I started my mock cycle with BCP at the end of May. We met with the DEIVF nurse coordinator last week to get the rest of the mock cycle calendar. I added Lup.ron and baby aspirin to my regimen last weekend. Did YOU know the baby aspirin is NOT shelved with the actual baby medicines at the pharmacy? I didn't. Estrogen patches start next week and the calendar for those is crazy complex - it's a good thing they wrote it all down for me...

Prof has to drop off the emergency swim team next week and I have a uterine lining check at the end of June. If my lining looks nice and cushy, I stop the meds and have a period. If not, we tweak the doses until they see that triple-stripe Holy Grail. THEN I stop the meds and have a period.

That done, I will restart BCP and we will be presented our donor profile to approve. The DEIVF nurse coordinator says the donor will likely want to start stims with her August period, so we will be moving forward directly.

As updates go, that all seems so cut and dried... just the facts. The rest of the story is that Lup.ron SUCKS. Obviously, I knew it would though I've never taken it before. The shots themselves are nothing really. Tinier needle than any I've encountered thus far. I've read enough accounts of others' experiences with it, but oddly enough I haven't had the symptoms I was expecting (headaches, hot flashes). Instead, I'm getting super bloated, exhaustion AND insomnia and some pretty intense depressive incidents. I cry at the slightest passing breeze - seriously, every little thing brings tears to my eyes. So yeah... not a fan.

I just turned down the opportunity to attend a professional conference mid-July because I'm afraid of being away from home and being forced to socialize. I'm also contemplating skipping out on a destination wedding in August for the same reasons. I know this isn't necessarily healthy. At the same time, I just want to cocoon myself for the duration.


  1. Emergency swim team made me do a double take ;)
    I think skipping those events in the interests of self-preservation is not a bad thing at all. Do what you need to.

  2. You're going to think I'm crazy but I kind of loved estrogen patches. I felt better on them and got less migraines... so yeah... I'm a fan. Also, there isn't anything wrong with cocooning yourself. My daily mantra is, "What do I have to do to stay sane today?" If that's what you need, then do it. Thinking of you and absolutely behind you 150%!!!!

  3. wishing you well on this mock cycle, and even bigger well wishes for your upcoming DE IVF later this summer.
    I guess there is a time for our beings to be focused outward and times for cocooning. Sounds like you are giving yourself what you need.
    All the best to you.

  4. Hoping that what ever you decide to choose will be beneficial to you.

  5. FAN of you coining emergency swim team.!!!
    For my baby aspirin I was lucky I had a prescription and the pharmacist filled it for me. The clinic I choose uses a simplified schema for the estrogen patches: apply 2 and change them on the fourth day. So far it has worked for me... Oh btw, if you find the secret to removing that glue edge from your skin, let me know? I've tried water and soap (nothing), alcohol (makes it smooth), nail polish remover (nothing, but makes my skin burn) rubbing with my fingers: it comes of but almost damages the skin.
    Good luck with that Lup.ron, sounds horrible.

    1. Update: when trying alcohol on tissue it was no use (leaving fiber behind in the glue), but rubbing alcohol on a washcloth does work for me.

  6. Sounds like you are moving full throttle with this. Whatever you need to do to stay sane is the right call. Be gentle to yourself.

    I am praying this is a summer that leads to something WONDERFUL for you.

  7. I hope this mock cycle is all good and you can move right along. Do what you need to do and if that means cocooning then so be it.

  8. I like what Augusta said about cocooning being a way of focusing internally. I think that's a completely legitimate thing to be doing this summer. And I so hope that in a couple months you have an even better reason to be focused on the inside.