I went in first thing this morning to get my blood levels rechecked. Just got the call. My progesterone dropped and my estradiol was right on target.
I start stims tonight for IVF The Remix: 300 GonalF & 150 Menopur. First monitoring on Tuesday.
Seriously. I may vomit.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Once More, With Feeling! (UPDATED)
I called it at about 12:30 this afternoon. CD1.
Baseline appointment will be tomorrow (Thursday) just after lunch. Since the appointment is so late in the day, I probably won't get a call with my blood work results till Friday morning.
Deep breaths.
UPDATED: Same song, second verse... lovely ovaries aaaaaaaannd elevated progesterone. Retest on Saturday, but I've already given up hope. Fuck.
Baseline appointment will be tomorrow (Thursday) just after lunch. Since the appointment is so late in the day, I probably won't get a call with my blood work results till Friday morning.
Deep breaths.
UPDATED: Same song, second verse... lovely ovaries aaaaaaaannd elevated progesterone. Retest on Saturday, but I've already given up hope. Fuck.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Is It Time to Panic Yet? (UPDATED)
I have a sneaky feeling I'm fucked.
iPhone says CD1 should be Monday and I'm just now starting to get some mild cramping and backache and acne. Just like last cycle (with the wonky progesterone levels), there are a few PMS symptoms that are missing. I have been running through various scenarios in my head surrounding the beginning of IVF The Remix, and none of them are particularly good. At this point, the only possible start date that won't end badly is if my CD1 is about a week late.* Not beyond the realm of reason, but not bloody likely either.
So this is sort of like one of those "choose your own ending" stories, but much more expensive. Here are the most plausible story lines I've worked out.
OPTION ONE: If CD1 shows up between now and next Saturday, and we get the all-clear to start stims, we are nearly guaranteed that retrieval will occur around the 21st-22nd. This is, naturally, the absolute most important two days in my entire work year. Roughly equivalent to the convenience of having retrieval on Christmas morning. Please believe that I am not exaggerating.
OPTION TWO: If CD1 shows up between now and next Saturday, and we do NOT get the all-clear to stim due to a repeat of last cycle's weird blood levels, I will probably be put on BCP for suppression. This would lead to a stim cycle with retrieval likely the week of Thanksgiving, when we have family staying in our house for the holiday. Oh joy.
In this eventuality, if we start stims but do not get to retrieval... we will not be permitted to try again in December. Which means I will lose the $5,000 still sitting in my FSA for this purpose. A not-insignificant chunk of my already small salary that I have worked for and would be forced to forfeit. This would also mean another year of maxing out my FSA (and the consequential tiny paychecks).
OPTION THREE: If we are stuck with Option Two and do not get the all-clear to start, then there remains a very slim chance that we could roll with an early December cycle. But really? If it reaches that point, I have absolutely no faith that anything might go our way.
Can you tell I've given this a little thought?
*I realize there is one last option, but we're not going to discuss that here. Seriously, please don't even bring it up. I will flip my shit.
UPDATED: In response to the first comment, because my IVF meds are covered in exchange for my final, un-used, covered IUI cycle and I've already met my co-insurance for the year... any meds I order before the end of the year will be covered at 100%. While this is lovely, it means that none of that will come from my FSA. And I have already paid the remainder of the IVF cycle in full, but the insurance (and thus the FSA) don't process any claims until the procedure is actually performed. So yeah, if IVF doesn't happen before December 31, 2011, that FSA balance is forfeit.
iPhone says CD1 should be Monday and I'm just now starting to get some mild cramping and backache and acne. Just like last cycle (with the wonky progesterone levels), there are a few PMS symptoms that are missing. I have been running through various scenarios in my head surrounding the beginning of IVF The Remix, and none of them are particularly good. At this point, the only possible start date that won't end badly is if my CD1 is about a week late.* Not beyond the realm of reason, but not bloody likely either.
So this is sort of like one of those "choose your own ending" stories, but much more expensive. Here are the most plausible story lines I've worked out.
OPTION ONE: If CD1 shows up between now and next Saturday, and we get the all-clear to start stims, we are nearly guaranteed that retrieval will occur around the 21st-22nd. This is, naturally, the absolute most important two days in my entire work year. Roughly equivalent to the convenience of having retrieval on Christmas morning. Please believe that I am not exaggerating.
OPTION TWO: If CD1 shows up between now and next Saturday, and we do NOT get the all-clear to stim due to a repeat of last cycle's weird blood levels, I will probably be put on BCP for suppression. This would lead to a stim cycle with retrieval likely the week of Thanksgiving, when we have family staying in our house for the holiday. Oh joy.
In this eventuality, if we start stims but do not get to retrieval... we will not be permitted to try again in December. Which means I will lose the $5,000 still sitting in my FSA for this purpose. A not-insignificant chunk of my already small salary that I have worked for and would be forced to forfeit. This would also mean another year of maxing out my FSA (and the consequential tiny paychecks).
OPTION THREE: If we are stuck with Option Two and do not get the all-clear to start, then there remains a very slim chance that we could roll with an early December cycle. But really? If it reaches that point, I have absolutely no faith that anything might go our way.
Can you tell I've given this a little thought?
*I realize there is one last option, but we're not going to discuss that here. Seriously, please don't even bring it up. I will flip my shit.
UPDATED: In response to the first comment, because my IVF meds are covered in exchange for my final, un-used, covered IUI cycle and I've already met my co-insurance for the year... any meds I order before the end of the year will be covered at 100%. While this is lovely, it means that none of that will come from my FSA. And I have already paid the remainder of the IVF cycle in full, but the insurance (and thus the FSA) don't process any claims until the procedure is actually performed. So yeah, if IVF doesn't happen before December 31, 2011, that FSA balance is forfeit.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Dream Vacation
It's been quite a week in my dream life.
Last night, I dreamed that our fertility clinic was in Paris. Every time we had an appointment, we would fly over and book into the Ritz for the night. As you do. The coffee was amazing. And every time the front desk clerk gave me the bill for our stay, I exclaimed "Really? That's all? It's so reasonable..."
That doesn't take much thought to interpret. I'm starting to get the message that the cost of treatment is weighing heavily on me. What do you think?
Last night, I dreamed that our fertility clinic was in Paris. Every time we had an appointment, we would fly over and book into the Ritz for the night. As you do. The coffee was amazing. And every time the front desk clerk gave me the bill for our stay, I exclaimed "Really? That's all? It's so reasonable..."
That doesn't take much thought to interpret. I'm starting to get the message that the cost of treatment is weighing heavily on me. What do you think?
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sabotage
Realization: I've been poking tiny holes in my chances of success with IVF.
I've been slacking on my efforts to be healthy in preparation. Nothing major. A glass of wine here and there. Not as much exercise as I should be getting and I still haven't dropped the last ten pounds to get me into the "Healthy" BMI range. I'm having a cup of coffee almost every day (granted, most days it's decaf *ptooie*). Prof hasn't been taking his vitamins and I haven't been pushing him to remember.
Yeah, I'm taking my prenatals and my DHEA. I'm doing my acupuncture. But I'm also letting a lot of little things slide. I admit, I'm sick and tired of staying on top of all these details. I'm starting to wonder if I'm setting myself up with excuses for what I see is the inevitable failure of this yet-to-begin cycle.
I've been slacking on my efforts to be healthy in preparation. Nothing major. A glass of wine here and there. Not as much exercise as I should be getting and I still haven't dropped the last ten pounds to get me into the "Healthy" BMI range. I'm having a cup of coffee almost every day (granted, most days it's decaf *ptooie*). Prof hasn't been taking his vitamins and I haven't been pushing him to remember.
Yeah, I'm taking my prenatals and my DHEA. I'm doing my acupuncture. But I'm also letting a lot of little things slide. I admit, I'm sick and tired of staying on top of all these details. I'm starting to wonder if I'm setting myself up with excuses for what I see is the inevitable failure of this yet-to-begin cycle.
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