I don't really know what to say right now...
We are all
still here, Inhabitant is still kicking away in the inside to my eternal
relief. March basically sucked as usual (with occasional rays of
sunshine). April is sucking much less, but has not exactly been blissful
either. I'm back on pelvic rest due to random episodes of unexplained
spotting and mild contractions. Work is completely insane and I'm exhausted.
This week was NIAW and I couldn't even tune in. I spent the week owning that fact that I'm still carrying a lot of sadness, resentment and jealousy and that is not likely to change any time soon. So I have the happy thoughts of Inhabitant and the accompanying fears on his behalf, plus the grief for years wasted and embryos that didn't make it
and siblings that will never be... and I am not feeling eloquent or
even articulate, much less able to rally to any battle cry for
awareness. I'm just trying to get through one day at a time and that is going to have to be enough for now.
